What color is the wind today?

Only a completely blind child would ask a question like this, pulling his mother's hands as he tugs along her on a walk. I can not imagine the mother's heart when she finds out that your newborn child is born with an untreatable blindness. If only an angel had whispered and told her what gift the child had been given, the crushing blow of the devastating news may not have darkened the mother's world. According to Itsuko Tujii, an incredible mother of Nobuyuki Tsujii who won the gold at the 2009 Van Cliburn Piano competition, she lived in deep depression for months after the specialist broke the news to her. Her son never opened his eye for days and days after birth, when he did, incompletely formed eyes sat with dullness that gave the mother deepest sadness.

The day I learned of Tsujii, the blind pianist was during the preliminary competition. Tsujii was led in by his own beautiful mother to the stage before his performance. I watched his mother's hands carefully placing her son's hands at the side of the Steinway piano making sure of his directional orientation. She knew that it was her son's moment. Even in her stylish orange suite, she had her way of not allowing herself to become the center of the attention. I was quite shocked to see how young his mother looked, about my age, it seemed. I did not know then that she used to be an TV announcer who led an active life style until her blind infant was born.

When she made sure that her son's hand was firmly grasping the end of the piano and he was ready to bow to respond to the applause, she quickly began her trek back away from her son. She looked back a few times at her son, as if she was fighting her urge to walk back to make sure one more time that he was OK. But then she forced herself to keep walking away from her precious child dressed in Tux. As I watched the simple few seconds displayed by the two on stage by the piano, I sensed the heavy, more like an enormous effort and support that this mother has given to her child and the grueling hours that the son has applied to refine his art. Tsujii is definitely gifted with a special talent but that talent had to be polished and trained with an unspeakable level of effort. When Tsujii began to play his Chopin piece my entire senses awoke for an experience that was rare. I was stunned.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDtT5sSu5VQ

At the completion of his performance, his mother appeared to assist her son. The audience was visibly impressed, and touched by the music. I was not sure what came over me but I cried as I heard and watched the amazing performance and I cried more when the mother appeared to escort her son behind the stage. I found myself touched by the presence of the mother, imagining the labor of love, sacrifices, and hours of support she must have given. I also felt the unimaginable magnitude of the sorrow she must have felt the day she learned of the permanency of the diagnosis. I could only imagine the joy the mother felt seeing her son stand on his own now with his own bright future that she had helped create for him. He stood proudly facing the audience that he could not see but he saw them with his hearing. He knew their approval. Hie smile was simply amazing.

While I was in Japan in July, I came across a book written by Tsujii's mother. In it, she describes her early days with the child who was born with underdeveloped ocular structure. When he began to explore his world, he quickly exhibited keen recognition for the delicate variation in the sound, tone, music, style, artistry of all that had to with music. His interest in Chopin music was so incredibly obvious that it shocked the parents. His mother's book was more than inspiring. Wish all my mom friends could read it. What she did daily for her son perhaps can not be replicated by anyone else. But I am so glad that she believed in her son and she was able to do what she did to support him all the way. I can tell you, after reading the book, I realized that I do nothing for my child comparing with her sacrifice she made. It was an unusual sacrifice, devotion, endurance, determination all blended in one. She completely gave up everything that was hers, her career, friends, free time, social activities and all had to be put aside to provide what she believed was necessary for her son. Once Tsujii became a Teen Ager and officially began a career although he was still in school (he is still Junior or Senior in the university) parents reportedly emotionally expressed to their supporters that they simply wanted to give their son something to put food on his own table when the parents are not able to care for him. What an urgent prayer that was for parents.

My brother and his wife have a severely autistic son. Their prayer for their son echoes that of Tsujii's parents.

I woke up to the most beautiful winter wonderland. When I walked out my house before 7 am for a tranquil stroll, everyone was still asleep. Outside was hushed with snow but I could hear different sound from the woods behind my home. Amazing what you can hear, when you pretend to not see. Living in Ruston exposes you to familiar sight of those who study at the school for the blind walking on the side walk down town. I have become keenly aware of the sound in town or the sound we make around them while we go about our days oblivious to those who do not see.

Some of us who can see and hear may not be appreciating the quality and variation of the sound around us. This past year, I have learned to pay more attention to my own sound that I make when I place my fingers on the keys or when I blow into my flute. It is like something dawned on me finally that I understand what it means to hear your own sound and how it sings. When you appreciate just a little bit more about the sound you hear, your enjoyment for the music becomes far more meaningful.

I had a tremendous enjoyment of SEEING the gorgeous snowy view in my neighborhood today. All of the sudden, it reminded me of the lines in Tsujii's mother's book when she said that she cried every time she was visually touched by art, scenery or anything beautiful. Knowing that her son would never enjoy beautiful illumination at Christmas was one moment in the book she describes as the most depressing experience. Later, she took him to art museums and explained colors and scenery to expand his imagination. She introduced him to feel the ocean and to hear the vastness of it by the sound of the waves and the wind.

Somehow he understood his world in colors, thus the question; What color is the wind today?

What color is my wind today? Did I miss it all?