One credit at a time.


Academia and what it cost to be involved with it too deeply is overwhelming at times. I asked Erik, "what do you think about your mama being a student again". I know he still remembers when he was 4 yrs old and I was at Vanderbilt working on my MSN in Neonatal Nurse Practitioner training. Then I got cancer at the end of the game instead of being relieved from the academic study and enjoy the new career. I was not sure what his reaction would be.

"Oh, by the way, it is mostly on line although I would have to be away maybe a few more days a semester than I already am". He thought about it and said, "Cool". What are you studying?". I told him that the course I am taking is called, "Health Informatics" and it is about information technology and health care data or education. He looked at me and said, that would be cool... What is it going to give you? You already have masters! When I told him that I ma working toward a doctoral degree, his eyes actually brightened and said, COOL. You are going to be doctors. Both of you!

Last time I tried academics, I ended up with cancer at the end of the program right before I received my masters. It is not scientific or evidence based thought process, but somewhere in my mind, I had a notion that another degree will definitely kill me. And I beg and pray that if it is not meant to be, then the door will close on me before I get too far into it.

But I am delighted and excited about the "learning" and the new academic "challenges" that I can tackle as well as the tools I am potentially gaining to use for my future service to nursing in Japan or here. I have had the strong desire to study again for actually quite a while,,, but some fear prevented me, ,baseless fear I should say,,, that I would have cancer again right before I graduate. If that is what I am supposed to face, then I must face it. I feel strongly now that I should move on to the next level of education toward something new.

I have also felt so strongly that I am feeling the influence of my grandmother as I become a bit older. She used to tell me when I was a child, how I should learn at least one language if not two. She also encouraged me one day as we walked together in the neighborhood of her home in Tokyo that age should never prevent anyone from studying or learning something new. She was 75 then, and she was a very active person in teaching, lecturing etc in legal field. She received her doctorate when she was 54. She would be the first one to probably say, don't be stingy with the tuition. It is an investment, you will enjoy it and it is a luxury you deserve. When my grand mother's old organ traveled from Tokyo to here in Ruston, Louisiana, it also brought me memories of her. The organ did not just cross the ocean but it also traveled across decades of time. As the organ sits in my view near my dining table, i often feel as if I can see her sitting there play and sing Jesus Loves Me, as my mother remembers.

I am joining an amazing group of students who are working at various nursing scenes. This semester, I am starting with just one class, online one that does not require me to have to travel but next semester would be a bit busier,,especially with the plan to attend a conference in Japan in February. But I am ready to move forward. One credit at a time.

Comments

the⋆silver⋆of⋆His⋆fining said…
How exciting for you! And what a great legacy from your grandmother, both in her words and her organ. Wishing you the best of success, Joyce
September 10, 2011 at 2:37 PM
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