One Life at at Time


    If it were not for the cancer experience that came to visit me when I was 36, I would have never known the blessing of living passed 40,,, or reaching 49 (not quite yet but it is coming on July 23rd).
    If it were not for the disease that knocked on my door when wrinkles or aging were not anywhere near the focus of my life, I would have never known the joy of getting a bit saggy in many areas of my life, both physically and mentally speaking,,, if you know what I mean.
    If it were not for the diagnosis that was presented almost at the same time as my masters diploma from Vanderbilt was awarded, I would have never known the significance of GRADUATION of any kind,,,.
    I remember fondly, how I walked across the stage and shook the hand of then the Dean Conway-Welch,,,,,,,knowing very well that I was about to be diagnosed..., and jumping in to the Chemo Bath.
    If it were not for "the pathology results" that surprised us when my son was about to begin his kindergarten,,,,the next morning to be exact, I would have never known how special it is to see a son getting ready for college, and the joy of knowing him as a young man instead of a little boy. 
    If it were not for the potential recurrence that plagued my mind each year as check ups and such filled my appointment book,,,,,I would have never known of the simple gladness to be able to fill my agenda with all the graduation festivities for my son this past month. 
    If it were not for this experience that filled a year with a significant financial burden, mental stress, emotional strain, and more, I would have never related to the simple happiness of having a family member (s) who is/are not in a hospital, who is/are not in jail, who is/are not presently fighting the war in danger, but living on the same planet where we can speak to or hug in person...
    If ti were not for the cancer impact that jolted my sense of confidence, I would not have felt the sense of humbleness that I learned that year; humbleness of having to be on the receiving end of everything everyday,,, . it was very very hard, although thankful for every gift and every assistance that got us through.
    Lastly, if it were not for all those who helped us in Nashville in very very tangible ways by taking Erik home from school, feeding him supper, packing his lunch, bringing us meals, supporting our needs, and more,,,,I can tell you, we would not have survived that year and the year after while we tried to recover from it all,,,.
    You all know who you are.
    And if it were not for the breast cancer that changed everything, I definitely would have never truly seen how to measure the depth of grief each family goes through when a crisis hits.... as I am grieving this week for a friend who is slipping away, my thoughts returns to the truth and the complexity of sovereignty, one life at a time.

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