One Forgiveness at a Time.

Have you ever had an opportunity to reach out to someone who is not your family member and gain such an incredible joy of getting to know someone's mind? Sometimes such an opportunity can afford you a fresh view of your own family and what you really have within your family. No individual is perfect and no family is perfect and it is probably more rare to find perfect family anyway. Often you find a friend who grew up in an incredibly complex childhood but never blames once upon his or her past. But on the other hand, some people blame everything that is wrong now on everyone else or everything else in the past.

I probably used to blame my father or my parents' rocky relationship or presence of a significant alcoholism and associated unsolvable financial problems that plagued my early years for who I am and what is lacking in me. I thought that the reason why I can' not trust someone in a certain way is because I did not grow up seeing a human trust between two significant people. I also thought that the reason why I am often guilty of harshness in dealing with my child is that I was not always treated with the most considerate affection by one of my parents etc..... You can continue to blame who ever you can think of all your life, I mean all your stinking long or short life but if you are not willing to change yourself within, there is no hope. Why? the past will not change no matter how you gripe about it!!!

I think sometime after I was married, I had opportunity to think about this deeply. Just because my home life in the past was so chaotic and insecure, does this destine my child to have the same course?

When we encounter a broken soul on our path full of bitterness about just about every family and ancestor that surrounds the individual, it makes me think about how easy it is to blame but not so easy it is to renew yourself within. In some instances, some do not have the mental capability to courageously think an independent thought any more. In another instance, you have a family member who also unfortunately feed into the negativity instead of making a conscious effort to help the broken member to move forward.

One day, I will be old and I will probably have the opportunity to get to know my child, his spouse, and possibly their kids etc. When I approach the twilight of my life on earth, I hope and pray that my life would be one that shows nothing but gratitude and joy for knowing my family and who they are. As complex as it is to think of what each family go through, one simple fact is that it is the issue of forgiveness that prevents those involved from allowing the happiness they deserve for themselves.

When I could not forgive my father in my youth, it was my mother who was probably the worst victim of it all that said to me, "If I forgive, you have no reason whatsoever to harbor an anger toward him". Thanks be to my mother who taught me the unbelievable forgiveness that is possible.

We always forget the we were forgiven so much and if God forgave us, why are we still fighting and creating the situation so difficult for you and your family to forgive each other? If the entire earth took it seriously to think about the ability to forgive today, what an enormous healing could we bring to us all? If only we could forgive,,,,,,,yes we can allow forgiveness in life, one forgiveness at a time.